marina naomi

 So the stress of everything is kinda crashing in on me today. I mean maybe just in the last couple hours. Had a fun weekend going to the cabin and then hanging out with RL and PM. PM gets flirty when he's drunk, which is nice and fun. RL is getting laid off this week and it is incredibly brutal to know my friend is waking up anxious and agonizing about losing the most formative and personal job she's had so far. It's her one big post college job, really, and even though it's nice that she's parting on good terms (due to Covid-19) it doesn't make it any less hard and incredibly sad.  Money of course comes up. It just seems impossible to live without the extra stimulus money if RL or PM or I end up laid off with no other job options for the next few months. I still have my job, of course, but it's nerve wracking to think I could lose it. I'm glad I've been on leave this month and had some money saved up to help moving and buying furniture but damn, I ...

 Ok I'll just come out and say it! I'm interested in losing weight. But what that actually contains is way bigger than a number on the scale, like seriously, it means I'm interested in: moving my body more and getting better at it eating nutritious food and not whatever I can randomly find sleeping more comfortably and deeply being less afraid of the stigma of being overweight/out of shape stop feeling held back by low stamina  play sports more comfortably and for fun I don't know what I weigh at this very second but it's almost 300lbs, if not 300lbs.  I guess the first step is accepting there's a "problem" and trying to figure out how to fix it. I don't think there's anything to feel guilty about or even really a problem with being at a higher weight, it's about my habits and how I live my life. I'd like to spend time learning what a day in my life should look like, on work days and on 'off' days.  I love planning and I am not ...